Ponyboy: There's one in every season. The guy with the rough past, plucked from the mean streets of Philly or Harvard or something. Oh so moody. Oh so deep and dark. Oh so full of crap.
Foley: Hmm...her name is Colie. That's stupid. What rhymes with that? Foley. Like a Foley catheter...the thing that gets stuck up your cootchie...'cuz she loves to have something stuck up there all the time, if you catch my meaning. Skank.
Weak Flame: Poor Weak Flame.You see, gay people were all shocking and stuff back when this show started in like, 1988, but it's so common now it's just bland. He's there 'cuz he's gay, but nobody really cares.
DaPlayer: With a penchant for blowup dolls and writing 'true story' letters to Hustler, this chap fancies himself a ladies' man, but is in fact rather pathetic in his transparent posturing, yo. The only girl who can stand him for long is Rosy Palm, if you know what I mean.
Thumper: Ah, this charming Bible Thumper claims to be 'deeply religious' which is just code for 'I will be a major evil bastard to you and torture you all I can and if you complain, it's just because you are a sinner! God is on my side!'
Mimi: 'Cuz she's all, 'It's about me, me'...get it, Mimi? Attention whore of the worst kind, she'd stand on her head and fart 'Dixie' if it meant someone would pay her some attention.
That Other Girl (TOG): She just...doesn't really stand out; the one cast member whose name is easiest to forget. Outslutted and outbitched, she doesn't get as much camera time. She's there 'cuz like, the show needs seven people.
Ponyboy: There's one in every season. The guy with the rough past, plucked from the mean streets of Philly or Harvard or something. Oh so moody. Oh so deep and dark. Oh so full of crap.
Foley: Hmm...her name is Colie. That's stupid. What rhymes with that? Foley. Like a Foley catheter...the thing that gets stuck up your cootchie...'cuz she loves to have something stuck up there all the time, if you catch my meaning. Skank.
Weak Flame: Poor Weak Flame.You see, gay people were all shocking and stuff back when this show started in like, 1988, but it's so common now it's just bland. He's there 'cuz he's gay, but nobody really cares.
DaPlayer: With a penchant for blowup dolls and writing 'true story' letters to Hustler, this chap fancies himself a ladies' man, but is in fact rather pathetic in his transparent posturing, yo. The only girl who can stand him for long is Rosy Palm, if you know what I mean.
Thumper: Ah, this charming Bible Thumper claims to be 'deeply religious' which is just code for 'I will be a major evil bastard to you and torture you all I can and if you complain, it's just because you are a sinner! God is on my side!'
Mimi: 'Cuz she's all, 'It's about me, me'...get it, Mimi? Attention whore of the worst kind, she'd stand on her head and fart 'Dixie' if it meant someone would pay her some attention.
That Other Girl (TOG): She just...doesn't really stand out; the one cast member whose name is easiest to forget. Outslutted and outbitched, she doesn't get as much camera time. She's there 'cuz like, the show needs seven people.
9 Comments:
I read the other post first and thought Thumper was a girl. They usually put the WF with a blonde Thumper.
Are you going to share with w/ MTV, i.e. make them cry and cry and cry and beg and beg and beg you to write for them?
That picture of DaPlayer is so sad, I might feel sorry for him if my heart weren't frozen solid against "reality" T.V.
Ponyboy: you know they remade The Hitcher?
And only you could put the proud Foley catheter in worse company than that Congressional pervert.
I love the profile pic.
So tough & cute!
How I love Macarena, let me count the ways. Ha!!! I didn't even think about Mark Foley--good one! You are so right...isn't DaPlayer the goofiest looking ever? :)
It's so awful, I thought you were responsible for that picture. I mean, the producers must hate his ass if they're using that for publicity. It's the photgraphic equivalent of "Kick Me."
And the real reason I don't find him pathetic is that he's surely an asshole. I'm sure he sounds better the way you've described him than he does if I actually had to listen to him speak.
This is why I live alone, people! I'm just not open to any- and everyone, some personalities simply grate, and I have a finite number of nerves.
Your mom's funny. I wish my mom had said "ass," let alone "kick her ass."
I know, Macarena!! I couldn't have made a worse picture if I tried. :) I hear you on the living alone thing. My roomies always SUCKED. And I bet your mom was darn cool, considering how you turned out. :)
My mom was cool, but she was cursed with a sense of propriety. She would naturally laugh at the ribald, then try to cover up for appearances' sake. Of course, she was too late, and still laughing, but she kept trying.
I'm disturbed by the thought that "Colie" is short for "Colon." I mean, it could be "Cole," but that's less likely.
OMG. You nailed them all.
CP.
Thanks for that hilarious recap. This season is sorry as hell. I miss the Real World of yesteryear.
I'm glad you like it, Golden Silence! I know what you mean...remember San Francisco? And Boston? Sigh, I miss it too.
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